'He said that maybe now he will be able to afford to buy the stuff he wants': Boyfriend Takes Advantage of Girlfriend’s Finances After She Starts Out-Earning Him, So She Dumps Him

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    r r/offmychest • 1 day ago ellie_x099 I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years after I started earning more than him
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    I am aware that the title might sound provocative, but hear me out. We met when we were both 20 and quickly hit it off. We were both young and more or less broke so we both relied heavily on the help of parents. As such,
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    our financial statuses were more or less the same. But then, changes came. We both finished our respective unis and got more respectable jobs. However, my degree ended up earning me much more money. Don't get me wrong,
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    nothing too crazy, but combined with PhD course I earn almost 2x what he does. my And so the troubles came. First off it wasn't too bad - as we live together he asked me not to split the living costs 50/50 but proportionally to the income.
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    Although technically unfair, it sounded logically to me so I agreed. However, it all went downhill. He started avoiding to pay his dues, claiming to always have no money, I started paying for all the dates. First big argument came when I changed my car to something maybe not
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    luxurious, but brand new and much more fun. He got angry, as he was driving something quite older. Firstly he wanted me to participate in buying him a new one as well, then to give my car to him as "I can afford second one anyway" and lastly, in a last ditch, he wanted me
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    to share mine. That will be three times no from me. We had an argument, we fought, we made up, things got better. That was like a year ago now.
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    Then, a week ago, he asked me to join our accounts because "we are an end game anyway". As it is the default financial situation of both formal and long term informal couples in my country. Initially I agreed, because - once again - it made sense. However, a day or
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    two later, when we had a dinner he just said (although he claimed it to be a joke later) that maybe now he will be able to afford to buy the stuff he wants. I lost it. I work twice his hours, and he just wants to waltz and take the
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    advantage while not trying to improve his situation whatsoever. I am aware that I what I did might seem to be an overreaction, but idc. I said that I am not going to live like that, being expected to pay for everything while he is out in a bar with friend or playing video games. He pointed out he does
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    majority of the chores and - to be fair - that was truth. But once again, I am paying for majority of everything anyway AND I am expected to pay even more because he does not feel like doing more?
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    I was done, moved out the next day. From that moment dead silence from both parties. I am done. I don't want any advices, I just wanted to vent.
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    h4p3r50n1c • 1d ago You're in the right, but paying things proportionally to what you earn is not unfair.
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    Tricky-Pea2655 • 1d ago paying things according to how much you make is actually quite the opposite of unfair. you're not wrong about the other stuff. seems like you guys just aren't compatible
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    evilalive77 • 1d ago I'd do the same. Called it quits with the girl who always made me pay for everything. My lightbulb moment came when one of my friends mentioned that she never thanked me for anything I did for her. She was unemployed, always thought getting even a part time job till she gets a stable job is beneath her, I didn't mind it at all.
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    Intrepid_Category_27 . 1d ago I wasted the first half of my 20's trying to support a (6 years older than me) grown man on a single minimum wage income. I'm so mad I wasted the best retirement growth years of my life because I believed for 5 years he would get a job. Worst thing is when I left him he found another woman and is doing the same thing to her.
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    . • bbbriz 23h ago Edited 23h ago You guys were not even married, so it would have made no sense to combine finances or buy him expensive gifts. That's taking advantage of you. But I suggest you only date in your income bracket from now on, you don't sound very fair with the salary differences. If you guys were married, you'd be the witch.
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    Paying proportionally is not unfair. It's actually the most fair thing, especially if your higher income makes you aim for a higher standard of living that your partner cannot afford. Half of your salary is his whole salary. If you guys went 50-50, that'd be really financially abusive.
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    1two3yxe • 23h ago You're not financially compatible. This will be the best financial move you've made in your life.
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